William Nathan's Book Of Poetry Read online

William Nathan’s

  Book of Poetry

   

  “Rejection”

  “Rejection only brought anger

  And hurt, to my recovery

  There uncaring hearts

  Gave me a rivalry

  To my angry heart

  My revengeful feelings

  Sprung up, and bloomed

  I wanted to be heard

  And not heard from

  The professionals from

  Pexton Hall.

  My awareness will

  Rejoice at another

  Persons sorrow and pain

  Please god give me

  The to see another person’s

  Pain and frustrations he

  Or she is inflicted with

  There sufferings.”

  “Journey”

  “During my alcoholic

  Adventure through

  Out the years I, could

  Not see, God’s creation

  There wasn’t, any meaning

  To my life, and not feel

  Good about myself

  So how could I, love

  Nature, the bottle

  Came first before

  Anything in life I,

  Lost out on, the

  Good aspects in life

  And now I am

  Regaining my happiness

  About nature.”

  “Alcoholism”

  “When I was drinking

  My foundation was

  Unhappy one.

  I felt hopeless, powerless

  Wounded, lonely, fearful,

  Hurt and isolated from

  The real world.

  Now I, needed to change

  These negative feelings

  To positive feelings

  By being honest and trustworthy

  To God and the people at

  Alcoholics Anonymous

  My new foundation will

  Be strong and joy, peace, harmony

  Valued, respect, calm, hopeful

  And serenity will flow within

  Me all the days of my life.”

  “I knew alcohol

  Had to go it was

  Devastation to

  My life, spent

  Too much money

  In the bars, dipped

  Into my savings and was broke

  Before payday

  Alcohol effected

  My work, I was remorseful

  Asked God for help

  To make my nine hours

  Of work that day.

  My hands and body

  Shacked, scared I,

  Might die, anytime

  I felt as low as a snake

  In the grass, my beauty

  Of myself never revealed

  Itself.”

  “Owl”

  “Eagle Owl perching

  On towering tree

  Branches on the

  Midnight hour

  Scanning swampy

  Terrain with his

  Powerful eyes

  Twilight glowing

  On his territory his

  Sentry like silence

  Fools rodents roaming

  It is way, the mighty

  Warrior descends furiously

  Swooping his prey and

  Ascending to his domain.”

  “Darkness”

  “One fall evening

  I went on a moon

  Lighted journey

  Twilight leading

  Our way leaving

  Evil spirits,

  Laying to rest, and not to

  Dawn upon courting

  Honey moon.”

  “Destiny”

  “Forty-three years

  I sailed a lot of oceans

  Know my destiny or

  Destination were not

  Ever met, Uncertainties

  Causing my worry on a,

  Weary sailor very confused

  In what direction we should

  Sail finally came to compromise

  That we were sailing

  Without a compass in my life.”

  “Serenity”

  “Sitting on a picnic

  Table on a warm

  Sun shining afternoon

  In the month of July

  Serenity hovering

  Over my head giving

  Me a peace of mind

  And I overcame my eternal

  Eternal pain

  Which has stricken

  My lively hood.”

  “Past”

  “Rome wasn’t built

  In one day, and our

  Scars were not developed

  In one day.

  Took years of punishment

  To develop our scars

  We journeyed into life

  Being scared and the

  Only matter was

  We missed out on love

  In our lives.”

  “Drinking”

  “We thought we could

  Handle our own lives

  When we drank alcohol

  We had hard time to

  Admit we had a weakness

  That defeated us.

  Who wants to admit absolute

  Defeat our false pride kept

  Our souls into bottle of booze.”

  “Love”

  “I get a lot of hugs

  And love from my

  Family in Alcoholics

  Anonymous

  It seems when the alcohol and drugs

  Detoxify from your

  Body you get emotionally

  Hungry for love, affection,

  Attention and compassion.

  The chemicals we used

  Buried our positive feelings

  Into complete darkness.

  And there was light

  God gave is in the fellowship

  Of Alcoholics Anonymous

  There you will see that

  People will care giving you

  That light in every meeting

  And everyday trials.

  To may face in your journey in life.”

  “Alcoholism”

  “My life’s journey

  In no more

  Corrupt from my

  Fears and anxieties

  That invaded my heart

  Through the fellowship

  Of alcoholics anonymous

  Where I seen the light

  At the end of the tunnel

  Brought compassion

  To my weary heart

  It sang a wonderful

  Person with a changed heart.”

  “Suffering”

  “I see through

  My eyes and

  Feel from my heart

  At another person’s

  Pain and frustrations

  And his indifferences

  That they are

  Suffering with.”

  “Life with Alcohol”

  “I had many alibis

  And excuses, down

  Deep in my heart I knew

  That was not honest

  Approach whatever the situation was

  Back then

  Just like me I, touch

  Hot stone I, am going

  To get burned

  So taking that first

  Drink will lead into

  Hundred drinks

  It’s like playing Russian

  Rolette with my life. I avoided my short comings

  Did want to look at them

  It was too painful.

  I didn’t like me well enough

  To challenge to get better that’s how far I, was

  Into my alcoholism.”

>   “Humble”

  “To be humble

  Of heart you

  Are considerate

  Kind, tolerant

  And loving person

  That will help another

  Alcoholic in time of need.

  Alcoholics anonymous

  Gives you power and

  Control to lead a,

  Humble life one

  Day of a time.”

  “Remorse”

  “Alcohol took my

  Fears away the

  Next day dawned

  The fears and pain

  Were even worse

  Then before.

  The pain felt like

  I was getting hit

  Over my head

  With a club

  Relieving my

  Childhood over again.”

  “Hurt”

  “I always thought people

  Were out to hurt me

  In any way they could

  My guard was up around

  People, my hyper vigilance

  Made me feel that way.

  Drank to overcome my

  Hyper vigilance when I

  Sobered up my hyper vigilance

  Descended on me.

  Alcohol made my abusive

  Behaviors to worsen

  My pride saying going with

  Out alcohol the rest of my

  Life that was too much of

  Giant step, so I went to

  The fellowship of alcoholics

  Anonymous there I started

  To live one day at a time.”

  “Sickness”

  “I will never

  Forget my hangovers

  The terrible shakes

  And remorse

  I suffered in my alcoholism.

  By being aware

  Of my condition

  I won’t relapse

  Myself into this

  Sickness ever again.

  My compassionate heart

  Sings joy to other

  Alcoholics that needs

  Helping hand for

  There recovery in

  Alcoholics anonymous.”

  “Recovery”

  “During my drinking days

  I lead a sinful way

  Of living, my

  Drunkenness hurt

  People that wants

  To show me compassionate

  Heart

  I went to alcoholics

  Anonymous they

  Gave me a wonderful

  Welcome the members

  All walked the roads

  I travel led they were

  Understanding and compassionate that

  Made my heart to sing

  Compassion in my everyday

  Living one day at a time.”

  “Defeat”

  “Rome wasn’t built

  In one day and our

  Scars were not develop

  On one day

  It took years of punishment

  To develop our scars

  We thought we could

  Handle our own lives

  When we drank alcohol

  Our lives were damaged

  We had a hard time

  To admit we had a weakness

  That defeated us.

  Who wants to admit?

  Absolute defeat, our false

  Pride kept our souls

  Into a bottle of booze.”

  “Faith”

  “I journeyed into

  Life’s perils seeing

  Myself as worthless myself-esteem was

  No more fears stopped

  Me from viewing on

  The better side of me

  Until one day I

  Reached out of my

  High powers help

  And he led me

  Into righteousness.”

  “Belongings”

  “I want to be

  Loved by someone

  Or love has to be

  Shown before I can

  Truly love myself

  Or anyone else.

  I want to be wanted

  And belong to a family

  My thoughts are like

  Wild horses

  Want to belong to something.”

  “Lake”

  “Like a stone

  Tossed around

  No meaning shown

  Thrown into the

  Depths of the sea

  Where abouts unknown

  Feelings bogging

  Me down hoping

  Life saver will

  Reach out and save

  Myself from the

  Remaining guilt.”

  “Size”

  “My burly size they feared

  Leaving them not to see

  The better side of me

  Viewing was centered on

  Bigness rather than personality.”

  “Farmer”

  “The sweat of my

  Brow I lay my plow

  Onto this earth

  Making myself proud

  To accomplish hundred

  Fold portraying workmanship

  Among us farmer’s dwellers.”

  “Mistakes”

  “We make mistakes

  Along our journey

  In our life time

  So one day may come

  Around to face

  Another mistake

  Taking disappointment

  In a kind way accepting

  Ourselves that God

  Never made us perfect.”

  “Superiors Coastline”

  “Standing on a hill

  On a windy dawn of evening

  Seeing spectacular view

  Viewing giant dumplings

  Peaking over the horizon

  Prevailing northerly gales

  Rolling whitish, greenish

  Swells smashing and clashing

  Viscously along the superiors

  Sea wall echoing a revealing

  Legend that was once there.”

  “Lost”

  “I was a trouble some

  Boy that was lost in

  The crowd, could not

  Offer no body anything

  I was lost in fear

  No recognition from

  The people then I, stayed

  Loner and isolated in

  My own little world.”

  “Superior”

  “Looking at God’s

  Wonderful creation

  Performing romantic

  Display of nature

  Ore ships sailing into

  The vast lake fog horns

  Bellowing as they

  Sail the might Superior

  Seagulls, swirling and

  Twirling in oceanic

  Air currents giving people

  Grand view from the shorelines

  The wind howling

  Across the lake hitting

  Against your face causing

  Your eyes to tear that

  Enlightens your spirit

  That God created a,

  Beautiful lake like this one.”

  “Wakeup Call”

  “Alcohol covered

  Up my romance when

  The alcohol wears off

  My romance will shine

  Like the stars do.”

  “Drinking”

  “There’s no way

  I can keep in control

  Of my drinking

  Without getting close

  To my higher power

  And getting his

  Knowledge that

  Will travel with me

  Into the perils of life.”

  “Illness”

  “Alcoholism is

  Progressive malady

  It could go worse

  And never better.

  I have a choice

  In whatever way

  I may go life

  Of misery, or a life
br />   Of good fortune.”

  “Raw Deal”

  “Sometimes self-pity

  Gets me stuck

  Into the quick sand.

  The poor me attitude

  What a raw deal I,

  Got in life

  This negative attitude

  Only keeps me sinking

  Further into the

  Quick sand.

  I will sink further

  Down until I go

  On a drunk to

  Escape the self-pity.

  I still got to let

  Go of this negative

  Feeling and go on

  With my life.”

  “Friendship”

  “I used to journey

  Into bars for

  Companionship

  The bartender

  Was a good advocate

  And listener

  You could cry on

  His shoulder he

  Was a paid counselor.”

  “Dreaming”

  “I found out that

  Dreaming was an

  Escape from pain

  That hung over me.

  My dreams were good

  To me it kept me from

  Getting depressed.

  One time I, dreamed

  That I was on top

  Of the Milky Way.

  When the clouds

  Cover up God’s creation

  When the clouds disappear

  His creation comes out beautiful

  Nothing has changed it’s a

  Beautiful creation.”

  “Communication”

  “There wasn’t much

  Communication in

  My family.

  Alcohol destroyed

  The family from

  All its roots.

  Very little compassion

  Was done in my family

  No were to run

  Then I, journeyed down

  The road into complete

  Darkness it was a life

  Or death journey

  Into alcoholism.

  Latter in my high power

  He gave me a new road

  Hoping that was the

  Fellowship of Alcoholics

  Anonymous were I, found

  True happiness and true serenity.”

  “Lonely”

  “I found out with

  My loneliness that

  I help somebody else

  It takes my loneliness

  Away from me.

  Don’t dwell on the

  Past it’s over with

  Nothing you can

  Do to change the past

  But you can do

  Something about

  The feelings that

  Comes from your

  Past experiences.”

  “Journey”

  “On my journey

  In life you are